Myth of a Strong Black Woman


Redefining Strong Black Woman

I am a Black woman, without the addendum of mandatory strength. I’ve experienced breakdowns and breakthroughs; I have learned from my triumphs and failures and have realized that part of my strength is knowing when to ask for what I need, when to cry, when to be silent. I have come to realize that what I’ve experienced does not define or confine me. Being proactive is much more effective than being reactive. I have learned how to choose my battles wisely, knowing when to fight and when to just let it go. Instead, I choose to celebrate my uniqueness and strive for my personal best.

I believe that true strength can acknowledge weakness. As a woman, I can be many things: I can be passionate, I can be needy, I can be nurturing, and I can be strong, but I don’t have to be all of these all the time. I do not need the label ’strong Black woman’ I want it to be ok for me to be lonely some days. I’ve been conditioned, by community, family, my racial experience and by the world to be strong no matter what. There seemed to be a code of conduct, a general guideline, for how I am supposed to be.  I’ve given this a lot of thought and have come to the conclusion that being labeled  ‘strong’ Black woman, has sometimes falsely led me into positions that have left me feeling alienated, frustrated, and generally alone.

I have decided not to accept the stereotypic label of “A Strong Black Woman,” rather realize that I am who I am! I have been taught by strong black women. been nurtured, praised, scolded, and punished by strong black women; and have been groomed for housekeeping, child rearing and culinary excellence.

I have seen the toil of strong Black women. I listen to the lessons of strong black women. I have independence, courage, knowledge and perseverance gained from  strong Black women, that have walked before me. Powerful Black women have taught me to respect, appreciate, and love myself. And because of those powerful women I know who and what I am. I am a proud woman who has cared for my children, who has taken responsibility for my well-being, for providing motherly, and fatherly advice, for kissing the ouch and making the tears go away. I am a healer, a fighter, a wise woman who acknowledges my limitless potential. I expect the best for myself and those that I surround myself with. I allow myself to love and be loved. I am the Soul of Strong Black Women. I don’t have to try to be A Strong Black Woman. I am that and so much more.


Leave a Reply